It’s one of those nights where you don’t want to be alone with your thoughts. You don’t want to give in to the tears that have been pounding behind your eyes all week long. You don’t want to be weak, you don’t want to ask for help. But when you do want to, you realize there’s no one that could possibly understand. You blast the music and stay on facebook and tumblr and watch dvds all night long try and void the pain. You get tired and think it’s going to be ok. Just fall asleep quick. The minute you turn off all the music and noise, the second you shut off the lights, the moment you lay you head on your pillow, the tears start to stream down your face. You hate that feeling. It feels as if it’s going to last forever. Before you know it you entire face is red, your throat feels like all of your insides are stuck down there, and you pray that it’ll be over soon. You lie helpless in your bed all alone, but when the morning comes, there’s something about the sunrise that reassures you that it’s going to be ok. So you suck up the tears and go to sleep, and when you wake, the pain has been numbed just waiting for the next breakdown.
